25 October, 2013

Review - WHITE COLLAR 5.2: 'My Man Caffrey'


If only I could have Mozzie's toy monkey pound out this review for me...

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Damn, that didn't work out quite as well as I was hoping.

This was an episode five-plus seasons in the making. There have been a few Mozzie-centric episodes (and they usually tend to be doozies), but this one in particular had the potential to be a classic. At some point, for crying out loud, the FBI had to catch wind of some of Mozzie's nefarious operations. Hell, we all know he's constantly up to no good. But sadly, kind of like Kramer on 'Seinfield', we never really knew how he made any money.

After watching this episode, we still don't. And after watching this episode, I still don't know they screwed this episode up -- because it should have been pure gold. I just loved this premise. Other than learning his real name and how he came to figure out what that name was, this was a big swing and a miss.

Seriously, how many things had to go right in that episode for Mozzie not to get caught?

1. Neal's new handler agreeing to let Neal go into the building first (allowing Neal to warn Mozzie).

2. Neal draws a real sketch of Mozzie and a fake sketch, somehow fooling two top-notch and brilliant FBI agents, partly because the new guy was on the phone in the other room.

3. Even if that were plausible, and even though Neal is an incredible artist, would he even be allowed to be the sketch artist in this situation? Doesn't the FBI have trained professionals who handle all of those?

4. Agent Berrigan is the only one to notice the three man-hole covers and believe that the death was faked?

5. Diana just happens to go into labor just as she's about to arrest Mozzie? Really?

6. Are we even sure that Berrigan wouldn't have arrested him afterwards anyway? Perhaps she wouldn't have, but something to think about.


And I'm probably leaving out a ton of other reasons why this episode was so far-fetched. I'm only being this negative because this was such a good premise for an episode that I'm shocked they didn't do long ago.

It had every aspect of this show that I like so much, with Mozzie being a centerpiece and Neal up to his usual tricks. It just should have been better. Because of Neal and Mozzie it was still entertaining, but sometimes that's not enough.

One thing I'm excited for: The beginning arc of this season. Not just that Neal has a new handler, which spices things up a bit, but also the storyline involving Mark Sheppard's character who is clearly going to pose constant problems for Neal. Can't wait to see where that goes.


QUOTES OF NOTE:

--MOZZIE: "We've become way too chummy with these G-Men."

--NEAL: "Far-sightedness and male pattern baldness are epidemic Peter."

--MOZZIE: "Were you followed?"
--NEAL: "Oh, God."

--NEAL: "I think we took Heaven off the table a long time ago, Mozzie."

--MOZZIE: "Can I ask you what you're never supposed to ask a woman?"

--NEAL: "I think you're going to be disappointed on that one."


RANDOM RAMBLINGS:

--The Roanoke Praxsis? What does that mean and why is is called that? Stupid questions from me that likely have no answers.

--Reason No. 36 why I love Neal so much: he weasels himself out of any and all sticky situations.

--Teddie Winters, Papa, Papoose, Mid-wife, and Theo. So many names! If I ever get a new iPod or anything, I'm naming it Teddy Winters.

--Loved Neal's bow after his little dance.

--Mozzie and Diana shushing Neal was classic. On a side note, I hope when they filmed that scene that Matt Bomer literally didn't know what he was going to encounter when he walked in on that. If he did know, I think they really missed a good opportunity there. Imagine his surprise to seeing THAT when he had no clue as to what was coming.

THE GRADE: C-