I'm not a lawyer so I don't know this to be a fact, but I think it's safe to say that TV shows that focus on the law are not all that realistic.
But hey, perhaps lawyers like Franklin and Bash performing outrageous stunts to win cases do exist! (Example: "If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!" SHIT, it DOES work!) And I'm sure Mike Ross isn't the only fraud lawyer out there, either. (Jeff Winger did it too!)
If these shows were realistic, they probably wouldn't be that compelling. So I suppose this is a good thing. But what happened in the first five minutes of the Season 3 Premiere of 'Suits' was NOT a good thing.
That first storyline involving Harvey trying to finagle more money for his basketball player's new contract was an absolute travesty of television. Let me count the reasons...
1. Deron Williams, the player whom he was negotiating for, is ALREADY under contract for another four full seasons in the NBA. Scheduled to make $18,466,130 in the 2013-14 season ... $19,754,465 (2014-15) ... $21,042,800 (2015-16) ... $22,331,135 (2016-17). I can let that one slide. But...
2. In the NBA, there's a ceiling in how much money a player can make in a season. Williams is a max-contract player, so there would literally be no haggling on the final dollar amount whatsoever. Even if the team WANTED to give him more money, they couldn't.
3. In fact, if a player signs a max-contract with the team he is currently on, he stands to make $30,000,000 more than if he signs a max-contract with a new team. So there is no leveraging to be had with another team. If the player wants to take a different team's offer, fine, but he's leaving 1-year and 30 million bucks on the table to do so. Yeah, it doesn't happen very often (Dwight Howard just did so when he left Los Angeles to go to Houston)
4. Obviously agents do some shady/manipulative type stuff when negotiating. This isn't news. But Harvey HAD to be lying when he said he had an offer from another team, because Williams was still under contract. Because that is tampering and illegal to do. Teams can't talk contract with a player from another team. That is a colossal no-no in professional sports and teams get fined a shit-ton for doing so. Not only that, but they would be likely be prohibited from ever signing that player.
5. Yeah, because Deron Williams is going to threaten to sit out the fourth quarter of a playoff game to leverage more money in his contract. Which, as we now know, isn't even possible in the first place. UGH.
OK, rant over. My apologies. Chances are either some of this bothered you already, or you hate sports and now hate me for wasting all your time when you thought you would be reading a review of the episode.
Now back to regularly scheduled programming...
Speaking of ranting and false threats -- did any of us really think that Harvey was going to either quit the firm or try to get Darby to fire him? Come on. I hate when shows resort to false stakes to create drama. IT DOESN'T WORK WHEN WE ALL KNOW THAT THERE ARE NO REAL STAKES ON THE LINE.
OK, rant over. It actually turned out pretty awesome in the end, because Harvey quickly abandoned that plan and decided to try to railroad Jessica. Let's hope he sticks to this plan and we get several episodes of that, because that will be fun to watch -- even though, again, I think it's fairly safe to assume that plan will essentially not be successful, either. As long as it results in some fun and some viciousness between Specter and Pearson, I'm more than fine with that. Those two are at their best when they are at war, anyway.
Two last things from the premiere that I really don't have much to say about, but need to touch on or some of you will get mad:
1. Here we go again with Mike and Rachel. They continue to go back and forth between kinda being together and her hating him. I don't mind that necessarily, I just prefer them to stick with one of those paths for more than an episode or two. It seems like she's pretty damn furious with him right now so I hope that continues for a while. Rachel is really awesome when she's angry and it would be fun to see Mike with her as a pseudo-enemy.
2. The feud between Louis and Nigel is a bit weird, but I still like it. I mean, these two should be the best friends in the world, but of course Louis screwed it up. It's just so great to see people mess with Louis (and I love Louis). He just wants a friend and everyone is out to get him. It's great.
I'm really glad this show is back. Let me know what you guys thought about my rants and the first episode back.
QUOTES OF NOTE:
--HARVEY: "So unless you intend to cook me breakfast tomorrow, I'd say we're done."
--DONNA: "Please stop saying Uniball."
--LOUIS: "No, I will not."
--MIKE: "You have no idea what I have or haven't done to get where I am."
--RACHEL: "And that's the whole problem -- I have no idea who you are."
--HARVEY: "You come to me. You tell me everything -- that's what god damn loyalty is."
--RACHEL: "Code 2!
--DONNA: Richard Gere is in the lobby?"
--MIKE: "By the way, if you ever do send that letter, you're in the same boat as me."
--If you forgot where the show left off, check my review from the Season 2 finale for a refresher.
--Man, I missed the great music from this show. This week's favorite: 'Sacrilege' by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
--That dream sequence from the beginning with Rachel exposing Mike didn't fool me even for a second. What's the consensus on dream sequences? Yay or nay? Personally I find them rather lame and overplayed on TV. I mean, we get it, Mike is worried about being exposed. We don't need a dream sequence to tell us that.
--How come when I tell girls about the first time I saw them, it doesn't go quite as well for me as it did for Harvey?
--Haha, I love you Donna for torturing Louis. Excellent work.
--Did Harvey send Scottie to London just because the show couldn't afford to have her as a regular on the show? Or because she wasn't available to? Or because they plan to bring her back for dramatic effect later? This is something I'd like to know. I've always liked Abigail Spencer, so it would be nice to have her back at some point. Although I've never felt much of an investment in her and Harvey.
THE GRADE: B