02 May, 2012

Top 5 Upcoming Summer Geek Movies (2012 edition)


Another summer, another crop of blockbusters and crapfests. This Friday, May 4th will be the official kickoff to what appears to be a very crowded movie season. So the question is, which films will rise to the top?

Like last year, here are my picks for the top 5 upcoming summer flicks to geek out over (in chronological order):

1. The Avengers (5/4)
Um, do I really need to explain?

2. Prometheus (6/8)
Ridley Scott returns to sci-fi for the first time in 30 years. Not to mention, it's a prequel to his very own Alien. Or is it?

3. G.I. Joe Retaliation (6/29)
The Rock and Bruce Willis both blowing shit up. Sue me. Makes me want to dig up all my old G.I. Joe action figures from the closet.

4. The Amazing Spider-Man (7/3)
A distant third behind Avengers and Dark Knight Rises. This could easily go either way, but it's still Spider-man. So color me cautiously optimistic.

5. The Dark Knight Rises (7/20)
See #1. Duh. Nolan should stick the landing. Only question, how close to The Dark Knight money will it make?

Honorable mentions:

1. Brave (6/22)
Will Pixar redeem itself after last year's Cars 2? My money is on yes. Besides, any movie with Craig Ferguson in it is alright in my book.

2. Neighborhood Watch (7/27)
Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and Jonah Hill as suburban dads who form a neighborhood watch group. They end up having to defend the Earth against an alien invasion. On paper sounds like it's gonna be fun. We'll see how it's executed on screen.

3. The Expendables 2 (8/17)
Stallone, Schwarzeneggar and Willis all in the same flick. If it's the same mindless mayhem as the first one, my inner 80's child will surely be satiated.

Dishonorable mentions:

1. Battleship (5/18)
This looks like something Michael Bay aborted. I respect Peter Berg for what he did with Friday Night Lights, but this is unforgivable. Watch it gross a ton of bucks.

2. Men In Black III (5/25)
The tag line is "They're back...in time". Yeah about a decade too late. No reason for this movie to have been made. Zero interest.

3. Total Recall (8/17)
Colin Farrell goes for the shit remake trifecta (see Miami Vice and Fright Night). No Arnie, no Mars, no thanks.

Agree, disagree? Let me have it in the comments section below.

22 comments:

  1. There's no Mars in Total Recall? How stupid.

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  2. I'll go see Spider-Man and Dark Knight Rises largely out of curiosity. I know the latter will be good, but Anne Hathaway... really? We'll see.

    For some reason I thought Man of Steel was coming out this Summer. I guess it's Summer 2013?

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  3. Im so excited for a lot of these. Especially "Avengers", 4 years in the making, holy crap! Also "The Dark Night Rises", and "Prometheus".

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  4. I may actually go see THE AVENGERS in the theater.

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    Replies
    1. Whhhaaaat. Don't do that, pirate it. ;p

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    2. I don't pirate, I download illegally.

      Pirates profit from their crimes.

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    3. It's called "acquiring". ;)

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  5. "...shit remake trifecta", LOL. If only Arnie would get off his teutonic ass and make that King Conan movie...I don't think anyone even saw last years Conan abortion, it could still be done.

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    1. Agreed. Do it before Ahnold and John Milius die.

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  6. "1. The Avengers (5/4)
    Um, do I really need to explain?"

    That's the one starring Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman right? Looks like a winner.

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    1. I GOT FUCKIN' UNFOLLOWED FOR THAT JOKE!

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  7. For a minute I thought you left out Looper. But that's September I think.

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  8. Brave should go above GI Joe, and I saw Battleship shocker it sucks.

    -siskj

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    Replies
    1. Only good thing about GI JOE is that Ray Park is in it.

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  9. Can't disagree with that list myself. All of them. MIB 3 the same month as The Avengers. What stupid suit thought that was a good idea?

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  10. I agree with your top five, although I might move The Dark Knight Rises up a couple of spots based on the latest trailer, which got me very excited to see the movie. I also agree with your Dishonorable Mentions except for Battleship. A friend of mine recently "acquired" it, and I saw it, and it was pretty fun. Mindless action and funny moments, so I guess it depends what you expect from such films, but I had fun with it. I kept waiting for someone to say the Iconic line, but didn't catch it. I suggest giving it a try before pre-judging it, you might enjoy it too.

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    1. They are in chron order, but since you twisted my arm, I'd put them 1. Dark Knight 2. Avengers 3. Prometheus 4. Spidey 5. G.I. Joe.

      I have a gut feeling that Avengers may end up being the movie of the summer only because Dark Knight has some tremendous shoes to follow. Not in terms of the Avengers but within it's own franchise. The Dark Knight has become the epitome of a super hero film done right. The flick has to deliver in a big way. It is the conclusion of the story, so it needs to end in a satisfying way. No pressure. I am all for it but I am also being realistic.

      Avengers just has so much going for it. It seems to be a crowd pleasure. While Dark Knight seems more cerebral. But what do I know?
      Comparing both these films is like comparing apples and oranges. Yeah they're both fruit (super hero films) but that's where the similarities end.

      As far as Battleship goes. Uh Uh. Fuck that. If by mindless action you mean Michael Bay like mindless action. No thank you. I abhor him. Michael Bay should have a venereal disease named after him.

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  11. No interest at all in G.I. Joe.

    There's one you didn't even list that I kinda want to see: Dark Shadows.

    It looks like fun.

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    1. It does look like fun. But I don't know if I'd see it in the theater. I'll wait to see it at home.

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