19 April, 2012

Review - SOUTH PARK 16.06: 'I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining'


The boys' ziplining adventure becomes a terrifying experience.

PLOT
Presented like one of those dramatic biographical shows with interviews of those involved and video or reenactments, the episode follows the day-in-the-life of our favorite little 8-year olds (are they still 8 after 16 seasons?).

The boys decide to go ziplining when playing video games and swimming in the city pool with herpes gets boring. When they end up with a tour group of zipliners, the boys have to fake being nice, watch a safety video, and then get on a 45 minute shuttle ride that ends up taking 2-hours. The horror. And likely terrible taste in using the Challenger explosion video from 1986 in a montage of lame shuttle rides. Come on, guys. Too soon! Too fuckin' soon!

After hours of waiting, shuttling, tree lessons, and more babbling, the boys finally get to zipline. And it sucks ass. They aren't remotely impressed and find themselves having to wait for the rest of the group, which for little boys is excruciating. When everyone has finished ziplining and the boys think they are finally going home, they are told the tour goes for another 16 zipline runs. What follows is nothing but a massive mess of misery that includes songs, pictures, more stories, boring ziplining, and the boys screaming in horror.

But what the boys don't know is that inside Cartman's stomach, hell is brewing! When his diarrhea goes out of control from over-consumption of evil foods and beverages, the boys try to escape via horseback but end up with yet another tour group, thereby extending their trip from hell at 4mph.

When the boys find a boat and try to make their escape at 5mph, a live-action reenactment takes place as adult actors portray the animated version of the boys. This includes thunderous projectile diarrhea, vomiting, and beaver attacks. Not to mention Kenny's horrific herpes problem and its ability to jump to the lips of the other three boys... for life! And then the unthinkable happens. Kenny dies... of boredom.

You bastards!

Cartman and Kyle fight about who is responsible for Kenny's death until Stan finally fesses up. It was his idea to go ziplining because if he signed up three friends, he could get a free iPod Nano.

Just as things are looking bleak, Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo comes to save them. Though, his cuteness is really lost in the live-action translation, I must say.

In the end, Kyle spends time in the hospital recovering from fecal matter in his nose. Stan goes back to jacking it in San Diego. And Cartman goes back to drinking Diet Double Dew.

QUOTABLES
Kyle: We could go to the city pool. They have a water-slide.
Cartman: No, no, no, I'm not getting in the pool with Kenny, he has herpes.
Kenny: (muffled) What?!
Cartman: Look at his lip. You got herpes, dude.
Kenny: (muffled) It's not herpes, it's a cold-sore.
Cartman: No, cold-sore is what girls call it, Kenny. It's actually herpes.

Cartman: Heh, did you hear that guys? Kenny says it's just a fever-blister. Heh heh. You sound like a chick, Kenny! That's herpes, dude. You got that shit 'til you die!

Narrator: Inside Kyle's mouth, the muscles contract to force a smile, even though in his brain, Kyle is thinking 'Dude, fuck you!'

Narrator: But what the boys don't realize is that a massive storm is brewing. Last night, Eric Cartman had Kung Pao Spaghetti from California Pizza Kitchen. Inside Eric's stomach, the Kung Pao has just met with the Del Taco he ate for breakfast. It has already started to tear down the layers of BBQ BK Toppers that have been building up for months. And now, to compensate for all the annoying tourists, Eric is ingesting massive amounts of Mountain Dew. The caffeine and sugar turns the sooty fast-food liquid in his stomach into a toxic gas. When the gas is released, it carries with it tiny particles of Eric's fecal matter. Fecal matter which floats up and into Kyle's nasal passage.

Kyle: (yelling across the ravine) Well, how was it, Cartman?!
Cartman: (yelling back) It's totally fuckin' stupid, dude!
Stan: (disappointed) Oh, really?
Cartman: (yelling) Yeah, dude. It's fuckin' boring as shit.

Narrator: But what the boys don't realize is that Eric's body is already shutting down from stage 4 diarrhea. Inside his stomach, bile has just dislodged in Arby's Ultimate Angus. In the average human, this would only cause mild diarrhea. But Eric Cartman is now drinking Double Dew, a Mountain Dew product with twice the sugar and caffeine of regular Mountain Dew. His rancid feces is now rapidly converting to a thick paste. The diarrhea shoots out of Eric's anus and into his underwear. Eric Cartman is a ticking time-bomb.
Kyle: Dude! Did you just shit your pants?!
Cartman: Mmmmmm... no?

Narrator: An attempt to make a bad day better becomes a descent into madness on 'I Should Have Never Thought Horseback Riding Would Be Any Better Than Ziplining.'

Kyle Reenactor: Because we keep getting screwed over by your diarrhea!
Cartman Reenactor: Well, it's not my diarrhea's fault that you took us all ziplining, you fuckin' Jew!
Kyle Reenactor: Ziplining was your idea, fatass!

Narrator: Kenny McCormick has died of boredom.
Kyle Reenactor: Oh my god. They killed Kenny. You bastards!
Cartman Reenactor: No, not they, you! Look what your ziplining idea has done. You killed Kenny. You're the bastard!
Kyle Reenactor: It wasn't my idea, it was yours! You killed Kenny! You bastard!

Kyle: How many iPod Nano's is friendship worth? I guess one.
Stan: (crying) The hardest part about it is knowing you can't take it back. I mean, it was a fifth generation Nano so I can't trade it in anywhere.

Narrator: After nearly four hours in the Colorado wilderness, the boys are finally going home. From the boat, the boys were airlifted aboard Mr. Hankey's Magical Helicrapter. In the four hours since they had left home, the boys had traveled so far that Mr. Hankey then had to fly them on his Seven-Turdy-Seven. From there, it was only an hour ride back home, on the Poo Choo Express.

Cartman: It's diet, dude. Diet soda doesn't give you diarrhea.

RATING
If I had to rate this episode, and Cartman's time traveling Wii thinks I should, I'd give it:

96 out of 100

An episode about the most boring day in the life of a bunch of kids somehow became one of the craziest episodes this show has ever done... and I loved every second of it.


51 comments:

  1. I love south park and love nearly all the episodes even some of the gross ones even though i hate toilet human because the story lines are just so good but frankly i didn't like this one. those scenes with human actors were so boring. it didn't work at all. I actually looked away from the screen waiting for it to be over and hoping just a small section of it would be acted. what the hell was that? tired of drawing? i love south park so much so its a real shame. maybe it was an experiment but it didn't do anything for me.

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    1. You mean toilet humor?

      And how could you think the live-action was boring? It was ridiculous and over-the-top but boring? What was that? It was them mocking the reenactment portion of these types of shows. And it likely took a lot more work than animating it.

      It was hilarious.

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    2. It was a satire on the "I can't believe I survived" shows and it was fuckin brilliant.

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    3. I totally agree...the live action was terrible. I get the impression they were running short on time or something and had to fill the episode...so they hired 4 scrub actors and shot the entire ending within 2-3 hours....and slapped it in. Not a good idea. The plot was awesome, and up until the live action it was funny as hell.

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    4. i feel like you all missed the funniest jokes in the episode.. ppl who liked it keep citing poop and fart jokes which IMO can be totally ignored without losing anything. the overall theme making fun of i shouldnt be alive was hilarious and the funniest joke IMO was the guy who keeps asking questions when nobody else cares. that shit WAS FUCKIN HILARIOUS!!

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  2. This episode was terrible. I wanted to turn away. I'm not sure what was the worst thing on TV last night. South Park, the Phillies, or the Flyers. Close call.

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  3. I knew kiddies wouldn't like it because it was too high brow for them. Mockumentaries are rarely appreciated by the stupid.

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    1. Highbrow? Oh come on, this episode wasn't exactly rocket science. It was a nice idea to make fun of 'I Shouldn't Be Alive' and shows like that, but it got boring really fast. Too bad, but South Park is going downhill.

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    2. You wrote that and started tugging on in your parents basement, didn't you?

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    3. I don't know if it was high brow but it didn't get boring fast for me. This wasn't one of the weak episodes. It's one of the better ones.

      --Tarter Sauce

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    4. What's funny is I can see the IP's hitting the site and it seems like the same guy has posted several times... I'm betting it is the negative one. :)

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  4. If you can relate to the experience of doing something boring with an enthusiastic tour group then you'll appreciate this episode otherwise I could understand how it might seem lame. The layout is a parody of the show 'I shouldn't be alive' which would also help you appreciate it.

    I enjoyed it :)

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  5. i thought the human actors made it funnier because thy were so overdramatic expecially when their screaming about who killed kenny

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  6. Hey, at least people are commenting on the episode. That makes it even better in my book. ;)

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  7. Human actors would have been an interesting twist if it were brief, and went back to regular animation. As it was, I actually fell asleep during SP. That's never happened before. The live action part was just fail.

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    1. lol you are so full of shit

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    2. Agreed....if I wanted to see 4 dudes overacting I'd watch The Big Bang Theory. South Park is a cartoon....keep it that way.

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  8. I googled for reviews on this episode and this was the first link. It was not really a review, but there was a rating and some interesting comments. I love South Park but this episode really turned me off. I don't think I actually ever wanted to turn the show off before. I get what they were trying to do and I have been on these types of trips (parachuting is even worse, 2 hours of how-to with a bunch of people who reminded me of the people on this tour for a 1 min free fall and 4 min open drop to the ground). I may be getting too old for the show but wow was this one on overload with toilet humor. Poop was everywhere, from Cartman's ass to Stan's Nose to an appearance of Mr Hanky in both literal and figurative form. The episode started off great. I was even excited to go Ziplining with the group. I even liked the training room as I have lived through that. There is always one guy in the room who asks questions non stop when all everyone wants to do is go start the activity. Once they started the first zip line is where the episode went from fun to pure monotony. Ziplines, horses, boats; they just drove the same joke over and over right down our throats. I was chocking on it by the end. The real life scene in the boat did nothing for me. The actors were terrible (I get that they were supposed to be, but they were even terrible AT being terrible). I feel like They were T and M's friends and had been begging to get in an episode for the last 10 years. I always dreamed of seeing the boys acted out in a real life scene and this was an epic disappointment. More toilet humor on the boat and no value add to the actual episode. All said and done I give this episode a 3/10. The first 10 minutes were a good lead in to what turned out to be a huge let down.

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  9. This episode totally derailed when it went to live action. Up until then, it was awesome. I get the impression they had to fill time quickly...so came up with this to just finish it off. Pretty lame. I expect more from these guys.

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  10. This episode was just terrible. I'm not even sure where they intended for me to laugh most of the time. Actually watched it a second time right after first viewing because I couldn't believe it could be as bad as it was.

    This is like there 4th spoof of one of these terrible shows when all the previous ones failed hard already: Whale Whores, Crippled Summer, A History Channel Thanksgiving.

    First half of the episode dragged out the same 3 jokes: "I should have never...", "herpes/cold sores", "long story short".
    Then the second half was the live action which I admit gave me a surprise/shock laughter for about 30 seconds... And then they kept going with it for almost the rest of the episode.

    It couldn't even end on a decent joke.

    My first and only genuine laugh was at the jackin' it part and chuckled/smiled a bit at Mr. Hankey...

    Other than that I shouldn't have ever thought this episode was any better than zip lining? Super funny right! -_-

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  11. Same dude posting 8 times... hilarious.

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    Replies
    1. Err anonymous is the name given to people who don't register and I'm the one who just posted above you. I'm not the same as the other anonymous above, that much I assure you.

      But you can keep comforting yourself if you like this episode so much that everyone else does too. Or you can admit that this steamy pile of crap just happens to be your cup of tea.

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    2. I run the site... and I can see all the IP addresses incoming.

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    3. Well then your site is broken or you can't read numbers.

      Delete
    4. The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

      Delete
  12. Vader's My Little Pony PillowApril 19, 2012 at 11:27 AM

    I'm on the opposite end of the complaints. I loved the live action but thought the regular stuff was boring, except when the narrator was melodramatically describing Cartman's bowel problems. I always laugh at bowel problems.

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  13. Maybe some of you are off your ADHD meds. I thought it was fuckin awesome. Didn't bore me at all.

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  14. I buy someone is posting anon pretending to be more than one person. This is the only site where I've seen this many negative comments about the same shit. My friends and me laughed our asses off when the live actors were shitting and puking. Its funny because its stupid.

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    1. Maybe this episode is like Nascar then.

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    2. Hehehe... or maybe you're just a massive douche.

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    3. Still pretty sure people agree with me more than you turd sandwich. =P

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    4. I don't see any evidence to support your confidence, eight-time-Anonymous.

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    5. I count 5, john edwards, anyways if you bothered reading comments and user scores on other sites you'll find that this episode is pretty disliked. And people are more likely to bother commenting when they like an episode than when they don't. Anyways, this is my 6th and last post here before I really do become the 8 time anonymous poster.

      Honestly, good for you for liking it. I guess I just found it pretty shitty. Maybe I'm suddenly turning into a cynical asshole?

      Hope you enjoyed my sp references at least. XP

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    6. Goodbye, faker. Go off and make more fake comments on other sites trying to leverage your dissatisfaction to make it seem like more people disliked it.

      Tosser.

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    7. For supposedly running this site, you're acting like a bit of an asshole

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    8. The name of the site is Geek Furious not "Geek who holds you while you opine like a twat and tells you that your opinion is valid even when it is just horseshit."

      That would be wayyyyy too long of a name.

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  15. I liked the episode but also thought it got weaker as it went on until the initial live action scenes. I think it went on a bit long and would have been much funnier with less of the physical actors but I enjoyed it overall. I would probably give it 85.

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  16. Some people really hated the live action scenes while others really loved it. I love that they did it but wasn't thrilled about the execution. However, any episode that can piss off and receive love at the same time is an instant classic in my book.

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    1. I haven't had this many comments related to this show... ever. So, instant classic? I'm going to agree with you on that one.

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  17. This ep reminded me of the Blankets vs Pillows ep of Community. Heavy on parody and done pretty well, but light on laughs.
    Yes I am anonymous, no I'm not the other anonymouses (anonymies?)!
    FYI I came here from Ain't it Cool News; someone in their talkback mentioned a "vicious argument" going on over here (though I would have used "Furious" :)

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    1. Funnily enough, I was discussing it with a friend of mine and he said the exact same thing... comparing it to the COMMUNITY episode.

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  18. Whenever dumb people can't figure out why something is good they get angry and lash out by calling it worthless. My roommate thinks Citizen Kane is shit because his brain is tiny. He also hated this episode. Therefor it must be genius.

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  19. I've been reading a bunch of reviews and almost every critic liked or loved it. Most fans liked or loved it too. I don't know what the fuck eight time anonymous is talking shit for. He's just making it up. What an asshole. Great fuckin episode indeed.

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  20. I have not laughed soo hard in a long time. This episode explains my every day experience around strangers plus my everyday bowel movements.

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  21. This didn't really piss me off as much as it was just boring during the live action part. I get all the spoof stuff, it just wasn't working. Like any good TV comedy show, you have to attract new people while not driving off dedicated viewers. This episode failed to do either. And the still drawings at the end just show the poor execution or lack of caring to make a good episode. Sloppily and poorly made episode.

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    1. You clearly didn't get it. Your problem.

      Great episode.

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  22. I was really enjoying this episode until the live action. I liked the "sweet gnar-gnar," "Shockah-brah," the guy asking questions and the narration.

    I get that the point of the live action was to parody the terrible re-enactments that TV shows like this do, but it just didn't work for me. With actual people saying it, the swearing and potty humor just become more repetitive and repulsive. There is just something about the animation that makes it more watchable. And i don't think animation would have worked with the boat scene much better (angles and stuff like that), but the scene was just overall boring. If they had kept it to maybe 60 seconds or a little more, I could see the novelty of it, and move on if I didn't like it. But for me, that scene was just flat out boring. SHOCKAH-BRAH

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    1. The fact that they kept going with it was a touch of... balls! Because I bet they knew it was going on a bit long and they WANTED to make the audience uncomfortable with it.

      That's what these guys do. And that's why it works.

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  23. yeah, pretty shitty episode -no pun intended. thought the live action stuff was kinda cool, got what they were trying to do, and the concept was funny, but it failed like aqua teen hunger force. i thought that the first ten minutes were pretty funny but it got sidelined with the progression of the story. ambitious but weak.

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  24. For me, this was one of the very few, boring episodes.
    I get it, they're ripping on the other shows... still boring.

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