01 August, 2011

Wonder Woman Pilot: Tit Marketing



Writer: Multipass

Wonder Woman gets upset when you don't ask permission to market her tits!

I got my hands on the "Wonder Woman" unaired pilot episode last week. The show was planning on being picked up by NBC in the fall, and they supposedly spent millions and millions of dollars on it. They even shut down the massively busy intersection at Hollywood and Highland in downtown Hollywood to shoot an action sequence. But despite all that, NBC definitely made the right decision not to pick this show up for the fall season.

The entire episode has this strange feeling to it. The only way to describe it is that I felt like I had taken two benadryl before I watched it. And I didn't understand most of the decisions that were made concerning the structure of the story. Wonder Woman is the public superhero persona of Diana Greeklastname. Diana Greeksomething is basically a poor man's Tony Stark. She has maybe half his charisma and almost none of his sense of humor. Like Stark/Ironman, she is a bazillionaire who owns a corporation, and everyone knows she is Wonder Woman. But the writers also give Diana GreekyGreek another alias, as Diana Prince, a lonely boring girl with no friends only a cat, who wears glasses and her hair in a ponytail. This ENTIRE alter ego is to show us that she is secretly sad and lonely.

Um okay, not sure why she needs this alter ego, considering she has friends and had a relationship as Diana Greekopolis, and her ex knew and knows she is a hero...so what is the issue? Oh right, the issue with them is she is afraid that he will get hurt by being close to her. She and Smallville should have a mopey idiot contest. (He would win)

Our first introduction to Wonder Woman is pretty lame. The chase wasn't that exciting, she looks like a girl in a costume running down Hollywood Blvd. After she catches the baddie, we find out Wonder Woman apparently works kind of with the government and police, but not really, or something. I really wasn't clear about how that dynamic worked, but they seemed to refer to it a lot. I also didn't understand why Wonder Woman was running around breaking people's arms, syringing them in the neck, and killing them. I mean...Wonder Woman isn't some dark tortured hero...she's a Justice League member! I really don't think Superman and the gang would be cool with this, and I'm not either. Basically she gets away with murder as long as everything works out. That's not very superhero-y.

I had a few doubts about the casting. The actress who played Wonder Woman/Diana Greekanakis/Diana Prince seems to have some SERIOUS trouble looking angry. But she did look wonderful in the starry underoos, which work SO MUCH BETTER than those dumb pants. I did enjoy seeing Cary Elwes because...well who doesn't? I also thought Elizabeth Hurley did a wonderful job with a very weak villain. The villain story wasn't very compelling, but she really chewed up the scenery and was really the only actor who seemed to be enjoying herself.

I think what NBC should have pushed for, right from the beginning, was a lot more tongue and cheek humor, a lot more ass kicking, and a much clearer story. The pilot just didn't feel like the show was going anywhere new. Too bad WB shelved their potential Wonder Woman feature for this project, and now have nothing to show us of one of DC Comics' most recognizable heroes.