25 May, 2011

Happy Star Wars Day! - 25 May, 1977


Today is the REAL Star Wars Day for fans of the movies who are not chumpy little POSEURS!

34 years ago, Uncle George (well, they called him that until 1999 when many accused Lucas of raping their childhood and touching them in a bad place... to that I say, if you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family, Uncle George!), brought us the original Star Wars movie and inspired thousands of artists from whogivesapoo to nooneispayingmetoresearchthiscrap.

But wannabe geeks and nerds who fell in love with the franchise when they first discovered it last year have hijacked the fandom and made the 4th of May the "official" Star Wars Day. Why? Because these nutjobs have decided that the biggest franchise in the history of everything somehow needs a cute little play on words for us to remember it. For those who haven't figured it out yet, the date was chosen so nerdjobs could say "May the Fourth be with you!" like some lispy idiots trying to say "May the Force be with you."

Get it? Isn't it cute? Isn't it awesome?

"NO! IT ISN'T!" is the appropriate response.

So, next year, when Star Wars faker fans wish you a happy Star Wars Day on the 4th, punch them in the frakin' face! Repeat this with everyone, as many times as necessary, for as many years as necessary, until you condition them to know the correct date.

You have your mission, Star Wars fans. Carry on.

May the twenty-fifth be with you.